Life Change On Line
Self Image
and confidence problems
Self-confidence is an attitude which allows individuals to have positive yet
realistic views of themselves and their situations. Self-confident people trust
their own abilities, have a general sense of control in their lives, and believe
that, within reason, they will be able to do what they wish, plan, and expect.
Having self-confidence does not mean that individuals will be able to do
everything. Self-confident people have expectations that are realistic. Even
when some of their expectations are not met, they continue to be positive and to
accept themselves.
People who are not self-confident often depend excessively on the approval of
others in order to feel good about themselves. They tend to avoid taking risks
because they fear failure. They generally do not expect to be successful. They
often put themselves down and tend to discount or ignore compliments paid to
them. By contrast, self-confident people are willing to risk the disapproval of
others because they generally trust their own abilities. They tend to accept
themselves; they don't feel they have to conform in order to be accepted.
Self-confidence is not necessarily a general characteristic which pervades all
aspects of a person's life. Typically, individuals will have some areas of their
lives where they feel quite confident, e.g.,academics, athletics, while at the
same time they do not feel at all confident in other areas, e.g., personal
appearance, social relationships, or speaking in public
Surprisingly, lack of self-confidence is not necessarily related to lack of
ability. Instead it is often the result of focusing too much on the unrealistic
expectations or standards of others.
Counselling and cognitive behavioural therapy combine to provide an extremely powerful approach to the treatment of confidence issues, helpingthe client to ´éxperience´ anxiety provoking situations without fear, and the cognitive behavioural work helps us to examine and adjust our perceptions of self and to increase feelings of self worth
